Here’s How Building Realistic Self-Confidence Can Help More Than Faking Confidence


At some point in your life, you have probably been told to “be confident.” It seems to be a widely held belief that being confident will solve all your problems. Surely, if you’re confident then you will nail the next job interview, your next relationship will be “the one,” and your life will go exactly the way you always planned it would.

Unfortunately, being confident doesn’t mean the rest of the world will suddenly open its doors and invite you in. Having confidence does not mean you will suddenly be able to do everything with ease. So, does that mean being confident, or faking confidence, is a waste of time?

The tricky thing about confidence is that, while it may not make the world fall at your feet, it’s still a key component to achieving your goals. Having self-confidence does not mean life gets easier. Instead, it means having realistic expectations and knowing how to bounce back after failure.

Here’s how to achieve realistic self-confidence and how it can help you accomplish your goals.


Accept Your Flaws And Limitations

Achieving realistic self-confidence is all about accepting yourself. It may sound like a cliché, but accepting your flaws and knowing your limitations is key to having confidence that helps you instead of hurts you.

“Faking it till you make it” isn’t the best way to build confidence. When people constantly “fake it,” they start to believe they have abilities they don’t have. While faking it might result in being hired for a job, it usually causes problems later, when you can’t actually perform the duties required.

Therefore, accepting your flaws and limitations will help you realize the tasks you can do extremely well. This then allows you to highlight your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses in every situation. When you have realistic expectations about yourself, your self-confidence starts to rise, which increases your chance of succeeding.

Stay True To Yourself

Staying true to your values and beliefs can be a tremendous help in building your confidence. People tend to define themselves by their beliefs. Therefore, if you stand up for what you believe in, even when it’s tough, your self-confidence should soar.

Believing in yourself goes hand-in-hand with accepting your flaws. Having a strong core of values and beliefs can have a positive impact on your relationships. When you know who you are, you tend to find others who share similar beliefs.

Naturally, when you find friends or a significant other you can connect with, your self-confidence increases. You no longer have to worry about impressing everyone. Therefore, loving yourself will attract people you actually want to spend time around.

Embrace Failure

Despite what some people may believe, confidence isn’t about believing you are the best. Building your confidence does not require succeeding in everything you attempt do. Instead it requires the ability to keep trying even when you fail.

It’s actually healthy to feel bad about failing. Failing is a part of life. Therefore, building self-confidence doesn’t mean pretending to be happy when all you want to do is eat ice cream and have a pity party.

When you don’t get the job your wanted or a date doesn’t go well, it’s necessary to work through any negative feelings you have. Try to recognize the reasons you failed and adjust your behavior next time. Ultimately, this will make you feel better about yourself and your abilities, building your self-confidence.

Practice Being Confident

Practicing confidence does not mean faking confidence. Faking confidence is pretending you are confidence when you are not. Practicing confidence means putting yourself in situations you know will make you feel good. For example, work out. Working out releases endorphins that often make you feel accomplished.

Another example is to wear clothes that fit you well. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t wear your favorite pair of sweatpants out in public. Occasionally, put on an outfit that makes you stand taller, that makes you feel like you can do anything.

An excellent way to practice being confident is to talk about something you feel you are an expert in. Have you seen every Julia Roberts movie? Then find someone to talk about Julia Roberts with. Talk about why she’s a great actress or recommend some of her best movies.

When you practice being confident, you become familiar with the feeling. While you can’t gain self-confidence overnight, knowing how confidence feels will make it easier to build. When you become familiar with feeling confident, it becomes more difficult for self-doubt and fear to take over.

Conclusion: Stay True To Yourslef!

The widely held belief that being confident will solve all your problems makes sense. Surely, confidence does help with your next job interview, your next relationship and your life in general.

However, being confident doesn’t mean the rest of the world will suddenly open its doors to you. The trick is that while confidence may not automatically lead to all good in the world, it would still help you feel good, and especially help you feel good about your achievements.

This is why you need to accept yourself. It may sound like a cliché, but accepting your flaws and knowing your limitations is key to having confidence that helps you instead of hurts you. Having realistic expectations about yourself would help your self-confidence rise, which increases your chance of succeeding.

Stay true to yourself – it is an enjoyable experience!

This article is intended for your general knowledge only, Learn More.

Anna Jones

Anna Jones is a healthy lifestyle expert with strong interest in skin and beauty. Anna studies psychology and how our physical appearance affects our emotional state. She is also the founder and chief editor of, an online portal for skin health advice and product reviews.


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